pita.

Long story short, I was in need of some whole wheat pitas. Not as simple as it sounds. There's a hippie store I frequent at least once a week, and I knew it would be a sure bet they would have them. I was right. Not only was I right - they had a few brands to choose from.

Now that I have a kid as a shopping companion, I find myself talking to him a lot - as if he's going to respond. In this particular instance it went a little something like this:

"Oh! PG look - a ton of whole wheat pitas.....Wait a minute....POCKETLESS Pitas? Who the #$%& would want a pocketless pita?"

No response. Except for the guy staring over the bakery counter. But he knew I was right.

name.

I'm horrible with names. Horrible. Its not because I don't like you, or that your darling face is unmemorable. If your name is Bob, and I call you Juan, its really no reflection on you....just my ADD.

But I do have to say that if you have a weirdo made up name, or name that is normal but spelled phonetically, its not my fault that I can't remember it - that's your deal. Also sometimes I can't remember your name because I already assigned you a "Seinfeld name" for something about you that stood out (Slow Talker, Hawaiian Shirt, Jack o' Lantern Face etc). There's a 50% chance that your Seinfeld name as a good connotation though, no worries.

lessons learned.

• Don't get food poisoning. Ever.
  
• Don't have a heart attack (father in law), because that results in the rest of us having heart attacks and we can't all be in the Cardiology Wing at once, subject to the tender care of the grandkids (which would, I can only assume, consist of a steady diet of mac n' cheese and flushing things from my purse down the toilet). Speedy recovery Geergie. We love you.
• Sorry folks. I will never dig Creed. Ever.
• Someday I will invent a television that I can just shout my viewing selection at. No schedules, guides, TiVO, or DVDs necessary. Just "ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT!!!" and its all there, ready for my viewing pleasure. Haven't we been to the moon? Come on!
• Fig Newtons and Coke brought be back to life. Who knew?
  

ug.

Dear Stomach,

I'd like to thank you for one of the worst nights of my life (and yes that includes delivery of PG - cause at least I got a kid out of that one). As you know, puking is truly one of my favorite activities, and something that doesn't terrify me in the least. Especially when it takes place every half hour during the time when I'm supposed to be sleeping.

Can't wait to do it again soon.

xoxo

bear.

Does anyone watch that show Man Vs. Wild? Its pretty disgusting, and awesome. Perhaps disgustingly awesome - repulsive yet you can't look away. The show follows ex-British special forces serviceman Bear Grylles as he's dumped into extreme locales across the globe and has 3 days to find civilization. We don't watch it regularly, but if you catch one episode, you can't help but watch another if its airing after it. Thus the sporadic inadvertent marathons of survival TV watching.

I've noticed though, with all the disgusting things Bear eats, and utilizes for survival, nothing he says sounds silly or gross because of his accent. In one episode he said "I've come down with really bad case of diarrhea, which is never a good sign when you don't have a steady supply of water"......

Did I laugh? No. But I should have. Wow Bear. Wow.

He also has a son named Marmaduke. Totally boss.

lessons learned.

• If you want me to never shop at your store again, by all means have a hippie in a flowered dress and mangled hair wailing on her guitar by the checkout. By. All. Means.
• I went running at 6:30am a few times this week. And the whole time I was disgusted with myself. Who really, truly enjoys getting up at that unholy hour? And even more disgusting is I'm tired and ready for bed at 10pm.
  
• If your kid refuses to sleep for a few days while at your in laws, you have to keep in mind that he'll crash eventually. And he did - for 13 glorious hours.
  
• Homemade tortillas, you may have won this week, but I have a tortilla press. Its over.
• I've missed half of Shark Week. A little piece of me has died (out of sadness, not from a shark attack thankfully).
• Utah is on fire again. Bust out the Claritin.
  

gone baby gone.

We've been gone. More specifically to That Famous Preston Night Rodeo. Of course we didn't bring our camera to the actual event, but we did manage to document a few things.

D getting back to nature via his cell phone. Apparently there's coverage everywhere.

You can't see how high we were, but it was high. If you look closely you'll see a fine layer of dirt caked all over me from our extreme 4 wheelin'.

PG and the lightsaber we purchased at the rodeo - no cowboy should be without one.

We had a blast! Thanks to everyone!!